By Terri Romanoff-Newman, PhD, L.P.
That children know who loves them and will eventually understand that love if not now, then at a later date when they may need it even more
That treating the other parent with respect is the best thing that you can do for your children even when that parent does not treat you with respect
Treating the other person with respect creates a positive model for your children and creates memories that will help your relationship either now or in the future
Saying loving things about your children and blessing them whether they are with you or not does count and does get through to your children
The legal system is flawed and is not the answer to any problems. What we have left are also difficult solutions that do not always work
Grief is an important psychological state to be acknowledged
Time and maturity are your allies-your children will eventually have the emotional freedom to make their own conclusions
Keep trying, keep loving, keep connecting in a gentle respectful manner
Having the best life possible even with grief in your back pocket makes you a stronger, happier and healthier parent
Anger hurts everyone, but especially the people that you want to help
Sometimes calling the authorities helps and sometimes it makes you look foolish-try to talk to the other person without threats
Keep emotions out of conversations as well as keeping the past in the past-do facts, not feelings
Use phrases like, “what is best for our children,” “what do our children need,”
Compliment the other person and acknowledge the things that you feel they have done well-you know what it feels like to crave some credit for things you have tried to do well
Apologize if it is well received-ask for help from the other parent.